Thinking About It
by kywildcat
Summary: Bill and Laura deal with stress, a surprise visitor and some unspoken wishes may become a reality.


You've been assigned to create a present for: forensicangel

Her wish is: Fanfiction. Bill & Laura spending time together after a stressful day, and with a child. The child can be theirs or belong to someone else. Just something fun, with a realistic discussion about getting married that doesn't end in an argument

All right - First I want to say – Woo-Hoo!! I was so excited to be assigned to you – I think we really "get" each other's style and truly appreciate each others work so that made it even more special for me to have you as my Secret Santa recipient. – I truly hope you enjoy this – Merry Christmas!!!

Today had been a day of one crisis after another. It seemed the President and Admiral simply couldn't catch a break. They had managed to avoid one cylon attack but they'd taken heavy damages and now, the Quorum was demanding a meeting with the two of them to discuss matters they considered of great importance.

Once matters in CIC had been handles, damages assessed and repairs underway, they'd headed off to sort out the matters of the Quorum. Needless to say the meeting hadn't exactly gone well but truth be told, Adama had very little patience for the Quorum on a good day never mind after the day they'd had today. Having left the ward room, they walked in silence. The Admiral, more accurately, briskly stomped his way to his quarters and the President simply tried to keep up. Once they arrived there, he ushered her in ahead of him and then proceeded to abruptly dismiss the guards stationed outside the door and then slam the hatch closed behind them.

"Don't you dare start Admiral!"

"Madame President, this is outrageous – since when do we bend to the whim of the Quorum!"

"We're not bending to their whim – they have a right to voice…." But he was having none of that.

"I don't care what they think they're entitled to – I have never and will never answer to them!"

"That's correct Admiral, you actually answer to ME!"

The Admiral couldn't help but stand there stunned into silence by her last comment. His mind was furiously trying to gather a response. She never played the power card – never – what was going on with her lately? He couldn't help but wonder – she'd been herself but just a little off – distracted. Clearly she was trying to end the conversation and control the decision but why…there was no real content to what the Quorum wanted. It was merely more whining. There was no issue or policy to be addressed so there was really no reason for her to control what would come out of the meeting – no, something else was definitely going on. Her voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Well, Admiral – do you or do you not answer to me?!"

"Of Course Madame President, as my Commander-in-Chief I do answer to you, but I have a question I feel is much more important than that."

"Oh Really?!"

"Yes. Really" the two stood in silence for a few moments.

"Well…I haven't got all day Admiral"

She had her defenses up – she was stiff and detached – he needed to reach her some how or he'd never get his question answered. He walked up to her standing toe to toe and grasped both her hands in his. Quickly she pulled away and stepped a few feet back.

"Honestly Admiral what do you…"

"No, it's just me – Bill."

"No – I need the Admiral to finish this conversation."

"Fine….here you go….Madame President – clearly you are correct – I do answer to you so I will do what I can to help support whatever you decide IF and only if it is determined that the military support is required."

"Admiral Adama…"

"Enough!" he roared sufficiently stunning her into silence. "Damn it! You pulled rank – you wanted an answer from the Admiral and you got one – now that you have seen to it that the Admiral no longer has a say in that decision since– as you pointed out – the Admiral does in fact answer to the President you quite efficiently ended that conversation. I'm now moving on to another conversation."

Laura Roslin knew in that moment he was onto her – maybe not exactly what was going on but he knew something was off. Silently she cursed herself and him and turned away from him as she crossed her arms in front of her.

Bill walked up behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders not sure of how she'd react. When she didn't run, he slowly ran his hands down her arms and then finally reached around her waist to pull her to him. Begrudgingly she leaned into him – not wanted to give into the weakness but longing for the comfort she found there.

They were silent for a few minutes before he sighed deeply as if gathering his strength.

"So, what's going on?" he barely whispered into her ear.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't be coy Laura – I know something is bothering you – what exactly it is, I do not know but I wish you would just talk to me."

"It's nothing." And just like that she stepped out of his embrace taking just a few steps forward to distance herself from him. He stood rubbing his forehead with his hand as he contemplated what to do next. He settled on calling her bluff.

"Now I know it's something you always say it's nothing when there's something – or more importantly something you don't want to talk about. Look, Laura – this whole thing with the Quorum earlier – what was that all about – it wasn't about them – why did you feel the need to pull rank on me? Why do you so strongly need to control this situation?"

"Everything is just…so out of control – I need to be able to control something" her voice was barely above a whisper.

"What's out of control?" he asked as he stepped forward and again wrapped his arms around her.

"Bill I don't know where or even how to begin to explain what……" but she was cut off by a knock at the hatch.

Bill dropped his head to her shoulder. She took one of her hands and patted his – "Go on, get the door."

"I don't want to get the door – if I don't answer, they'll go away."

"No they won't, they never do – go on."

"Laura – no, this is too important – "

"No it's not – it's nothing that can't keep until you answer the door."

"I'm done putting everything else ahead of you when we're on Galactica - they'll have to wait."

"Bill Adama – you are the Admiral of this ship – I understand that – Not only do I expect interruptions which you should be dealing with by the way, but I also accept that and more important than anything else, I respect that you make all of that a priority. It would be very disappointing to see you loose perspective –"

"All right – all right – I give."

Bill walked to the hatch glancing once over his should to see Laura looking at him with half a smile on her face.

"Go on…" she encouraged him along.

Pulling open the door he started speaking before he could even see who was outside the door. "This had damned well better be….." but his voice trailed off – no one was on the other side of the door. He knew he'd heard a knock – she heard it too. Maybe he had hesitated long enough and they'd left. Grateful for what he thought was his first break of the day, he stepped back to close the hatch and his eyes dropped to the floor. Instantly he froze.

"Oh my Gods! You've got to be frakking kidding me"

Laura was intrigued now as she began to walk up behind him she asked "What's wrong?"

Following his gaze her eyes settled on exactly what he'd seen. "My Gods Bill is that?"

But before she could finish the object of their attention suddenly began to cry. Bill quickly scooped up the basket holding the infant and passed it off to Laura as he climbed the few stairs outside his door to franticly search the halls for someone who could have possibly left the baby at his doorstep. Greeted only by empty corridors and silence he finally turned around and headed back to his quarters. She looked up as he entered with the baby in her arms.

"Any luck?"

"No – where are the damned guards anyway?"

"You dismissed them remember – given the mood you were in I would have run away fast too."

"Don't mock me now Laura. So, who do we think we have here?"

"I don't know – I've searched her clothing and there is nothing that indicated who she is or who she belongs to."

"She?"

"Yes – SHE required a diaper change while you were out there."

"Where the hell did you get diapers?"

"She came with this – pointing toward the basket the baby had been left in, she picked up the blanket to reveal extra diapers, clothing, bottles and an abundance of other baby paraphernalia.

"Clearly this wasn't an accident. Whoever left her – intended to and from the looks of things, may not be coming back."

"Clearly."

"So what do we do with her?"

"I don't know Bill – I suppose we could notify Cottle – see if he knows of anyone who has given birth recently."

"We could – but if her mother left her here and we just bring her back – where will she leave her next time?"

"What if it wasn't her mother? What if her mother is franticly searching for her?"

"No – she was packed with care and provided for – only a mother would do that."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, every time I had to bring the boys to their grandparents or the baby-sitters, I always forgot practically everything – Carol Anne used to yell at me all the time – Any time she dropped them off – they had everything they could possibly need with them. Eventually she would do all of the preparation and I would simply have to drop them off. I was incredibly grateful once she started doing that because I was so sick of driving back and forth with everything I'd forgotten. She always used to say, "That's what mother's are for." – This little one here seems to have arrived the same way - she has everything she could possibly need with her."

"That's quite a good theory."

"Thank you….Laura, can I ask you a question?

"hmmm?...sure." the way Laura's voice carried the answer served to show that she was completely distracted as she continued to gaze at the small baby falling asleep in her arms.

"Do you ever wish…."

"Do I ever wish…what?" she pulled her glance away from the baby to look over at Bill.

"Do you ever wish you'd had children of your own….you know back when you could have?"

"Sometimes…yes, sometimes I do. I used that think that was something I could never have…but now that I…now that things…oh, never mind."

"What is it?"

"Oh, it's not important…really…"

"If it matters at all to you, it makes it important to me – please Laura…"

"Bill I don't think….I'm not sure if I can..."

"Well, could you try?"

"It's not that easy – I haven't actually allowed myself to really think about this, never mind talk about it."

"It can't be that bad."

"No, you're right, I suppose bad isn't the right word. It's definitely something new to think about and if I'm really honest with myself, it actually scares me quite a bit."

"Laura, you aren't…the cancer isn't….."

"Oh goodness – NO!, I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you…"

"Thank the gods…if it isn't the cancer, what else could make that much of an impact on your life now after…well…everything, the end of the colonies, running for our lives and your surviving the cancer?"

"I know this doesn't make much sense…It's just that actually holding this little one and you asking me about children, it's just all starting to really sink in…I'm sorry…it's difficult to wrap my mind around this…"

Laura's voice quivered and her eyes welled with tears as she spoke. Bill noticed this and quickly took the sleeping baby from her arms to lay her down before returning to find Laura on the couch with one arm wrapped around herself and her opposite hand gently wiping tears away from her eyes. Bill's head told him to keep a professional distance between them and try to get her to talk to him, but his heart and body longed to take her in his arms and comfort her. Between the three, his heart and body had the majority vote over his mind in this instance. Just as he was about to join her on the couch, the baby began to fuss.

Abruptly spinning on his heels, he approached the basket surprised at how quickly he found Laura at his side he put up his hands to stop her from picking up the little girl. Instead he began to hum a lullaby and gently shook the basket soothing the baby back into a contented slumber. Once he was satisfied she wouldn't wake, he looked up to see Laura grinning at him.

"What?" he asked

"You're pretty good at this."

"I'm o.k. – far from perfect just ask my son."

They walked back to the couch and sat together as an uncomfortable air began to settle over them once again.

"Laura?"

"Hmm?"

"Look at me."

"I can't"

"Of course you can…hey…" he reached out and lifted her chin to capture her eyes with his own. "You are the strongest person I know. Now, what is wrong?"

"You really aren't going to let this go are you?"

"Nope."

"Fine…in the past few months my life has been completely turned upside down and after meeting with Jack last week, he's managed to confirm that it isn't going to stop any time soon."

"All right – you win…I'm lost."

"Before the cylons attacked the colonies, I had begun to go through menopause."

"And this is a problem now?"

"Well, it wouldn't be except for the fact that following my miraculous recovery, one horrid stay on New Caprica, followed by one crazy exodus that has left many people reeling, I had noticed that it was taking an exceptionally long time to complete that change."

"So….I'm sorry Laura, I'm still lost."

"I know – I'm afraid I'm not able to put everything into words that make sense – this isn't something I really talk about."

"It's all right – I'm still here – you'll find the words."

"Why are you still here?"

"You're in my quarters."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know….I'm still here because there is no where else and with no one else that I would rather be."

"That's…..a really good answer."

"It's the truth – now you're evading the whole point of this conversation."

"Fine – the truth is this, I should be through with the physical changes that menopause brings but I was finding that instead of progressing, it seemed to be regressing – my previously monthly cycles were returning to a very normal pattern which it at best confusing."

"That's for sure – and I'm guessing that this is a bad thing?"

"Good or bad is yet to be determined the fact is it isn't normal so I went to talk to Jack about it."

"What did he say?"

"He said that after running another complete scan to assess my entire physiology that it seems several of my organs have returned to their previous proper working condition. That as far as my body is concerned; I'm more like 40 than my true age."

"So what about all that has you so upset?"

"Oh Bill, don't you see, I had come to terms with being done with all of that. I had accepted I would never have children and I had moved on from that. I was enjoying the freedom of no monthly cycles and now…."

"Everything is spiraling out of your control."

"Yes – exactly, my body has thrown me for a loop and everything I had reconciled myself with in how things ended up in my life, is now up for grabs again and is front and center of my mind all the time."

"So the thing with the quorum was just you grasping for something that you can control to ground you?"

"Yes"

"And the reaction to the baby is because…."

"The reaction to the baby is because as I've told you, I always wanted children – now I'm in a situation where that is possible again, however, it couldn't have happened at a worse time."

"Why?"

"Why? Bill – me with a baby? How would that work?"

"It would work however it needed to work."

"But my job, my hours"

"Excuses."

"All right so suppose all of those things can be worked around – who exactly would I have this baby with?"

"Your husband."

"My hus…Bill – what are you talking about – who the hell would marry me out here in all this chaos my life brings with it. That's too much baggage for anyone to take."

"It's not too much for me…I would marry you."

"That's very kind but that's not the right reason to get married….what am I even talking about…no – you and I – no, I'm no one's pity case."

"Pity? Who's talking about pity?"

"Come on Bill – you've just see me cry over holding a baby – I've completely embarrassed myself by telling you something you really didn't need to know and now that you do know that I can and want to have a child you feel bad and are trying to make me feel better."

"It could be children – not necessarily one child."

"Bill – you cannot be serious."

"Why not? Laura – I love you – you know I love you. I understand what your life brings – I know the chaos and I know that if you love me we can make anything work."

"Bill, you know I love you but we couldn't." Laura rose from the couch and walked over to the basket on the table – her eyes locked onto the sleeping infant there.

"We could and you know it….but I'll make you a deal."

"What kind of a deal?"

"Just think about it – that's all I ask. Let's see how the next few hours/days/weeks, whatever it is that we end up caring for this little girl go – see who is right – but there can be no sabotage or attempt to undermine on either of our parts. Deal?"

"And what if this isn't resolved in a few hours – who does she go home with?"

"Well, we play as if the situation was real – if you were my wife – hmmm…that sounds good."

"Bill!"

"Sorry – if we were married, at least most if not all nights you would be here with me."

"Why wouldn't you be on Colonial One with me?"

"You really want to give up these quarters this couch – this space to live in your personal quarters with only a curtain to separate us from the rest of the world?"

"Fair enough – we would be here."

"Right – so, if we don't know who she belongs to or unable to return her by the end of the day, you'll just have to stay here."

"What do we tell Tory?"

"Tell her that we're running an experiment and that it's top secret and requires you to stay here – that there is no reason for it to interfere with your daily duties. Tell her once the experiment is over you will gladly fill her in on all the details."

"And where would I sleep."

"Laura – If we were married, where do you think you would be sleeping?"

"Seriously?!"

"Well, it's only a little over half way through the day – you've got some time – all I want is for you to really think about it – we'll cross that bridge if we get there."

"All right – you win – I'll think about it."

Just as Bill was about to seal the deal with a kiss, Gaeta's voice echoed over the speaker, "Set Condition One through out the fleet – pass the word Admiral Adama to CIC"

"You've got to be kidding me. I'll be back – and while you're thinking…make sure you're thinking about children not just one child – lots of children would be great!"

"Go! Get out! – you are a horrible man!"

"I am but you love that about me." Bill turned to leave as he got to the hatch her voice stopped him.

"Bill?"

"Yeah –"

"Come back in one piece o.k.?"

"I will always come back to you Laura – always. Oh and don't forget – think about it"

With that he left her to take care of their tiny visitor. As Laura's hand settled on the little girls back she thought out loud to herself – "Don't you worry Admiral – I intend to give it a lot of thought indeed."

The End….


End file.
